Interview transcript
I have permission from my interviewee to record the interview. The following is an exact transcript of the interview recording.
AB: So, my name is Addy.
JN: My name is [ ] (she wants to be anonymous so fake name being Jane. JN means Jane).
AB: Okay so we are gonna start the interview. You don’t need to answer all the questions. If you feel uncomfortable you can say “I don’t want to answer that” and you won’t have to. Okay, so
let’s start, what is your culture or ethnicity?
JN: Okay, so I’m Mexican. and yeah.
AB: Ok great, where do you live? And do you do you feel like you see representation of your culture in the community you live in?
JN: I live in Manhattan, and I do not see I mean, there is stuff like restaurants like recently, I have seen um new businesses opening up, like around my community where there’s more Mexican desserts and foods where you wouldn’t see that before. And so now, I feel appreciated a little bit more, it’s cool seeing the new places and people trying things from my culture.
AB: That’s super cool I’ve seen new businesses open up too. Ok, so what is your occupation? Do you have a job, or do you go to school, etc?
JN: Um, no, I am unemployed. *She laughs* I am a student at CCNY and I’m also a student at um CCMSA. um it’s in 196 Street and Broadway. I am a I’m part of the early college initiative program. And yeah.
AB:. How is your culture different from others and how is it unique?
JN: Um, my culture is um I feel like my culture could be different from others because its food makes it unique. um the way we speak, it’s different. We have, I guess you could say we all have different accents, we have food that make us stand out, you know, spicy foods. um we have our unique spices, you know. And yes.
AB: How do you feel about gender roles being like, um the woman does this specific thing, or the men does this specific thing, like like traditional gender roles. A woman has to stay home with the kids and clean while the men go to work and provided. And do you feel about that?
JN: Um, I feel like you could see that, like, a lot with a word said in Spanish called “machismos”(this word meaning like very manly or toxic masculinity, can also be a word for men fitting into the traditional gender roles just in a toxic way), and stuff like that. I feel like I do see it, but my family is not like that, so like, we all very much involved, you know, we help each other out.
AB: But how do you feel about it? Like the topic in general.
JN: I think I don’t know, it could bring a lot of controversy because I feel like the women don’t have to do it all. Like cooking and cleaning. I feel like yes, it’s okay for the woman to cook. but then, like, you know, the male helps out. So, like, the woman cooks, the male helps clean the dishes or, like, you both clean dishes.
Ab: Yeah. You feel like there should be like 50, 50, in a way?
JN: like a little balance.
AB: Yeah, good balance. do you feel like its seen a lot in your culture? I feel like you kind of answered that in a way.
JN: Yeah. I feel like I do see it in my culture, just on not like, like within my own circle, you know? Circle being immediate family.
AB: Yeah hm. Have you seen or experienced this, like in your family you said you haven’t but like, have you seen it, like in other places?
JN: Oh, okay, so I’ve I’ve seen, like, um where, I mean, I don’t know if this is considered, like, you know, what I said, the term machismo, but like some males when they get like home from work, they’re like “serve me”. you know, “serve me food.” And it’s not not, it’s not even like a like a “please” or like a question. It’s more of like a command. And when it’s like that, I feel like that’s very I don’t know, it makes me feel uncomfortable. I feel like that’s not the way that men should talk to a woman or their wife… I’ve seen some umm uh uncomfortable things within that uh topic but I don’t feel comfortable sharing.
AB: That’s totally fine there is no pressure in answering things that you don’t want to answer. So, you never, personally experienced any, like have you have you ever been, like, told, like, oh, in the future, you should do this or live this kind of way?
JN: I don’t know, like I mean, besides that and like being told that, like, oh, like women should be the ones cooking, then then no, but besides that, then that’s the only thing.
AB: Okay. So, you never felt pressured to do anything, that you don’t want to because it’s what a girl should be doing?
JN: no. At least not in my immediate family no
AB: No? okay. So, what are your personal thoughts or feelings on the matter? What are your personal thoughts on misogyny in general or anything under that? Do you feel like the issue is important today, or do you feel like the issue has been resolved? Do you think its still a problem in your culture or anywhere?
JN: Um. I feel like I feel like the issue is important, but I don’t feel like I see it a lot like now in current times. I feel like you would see that like before, like I said, the woman cooking and cleaning and the, you know, the guy just like provides and just cause he provides, he expects like the the females to do everything. and I feel like now it’s different because I don’t know, it’ll take, for example. my dad, he’s a cook, he cooks too. um my mom does clean, but he helps out to. So, I feel like it has been resolved in a way, but you could still see it, like there will be like instances where you could see it, like in families or, like, it’s very prominent in families of my culture. Um, I don’t think it’s right, but I feel like I don’t know if there’s there’s like anything the person can do if like they’re used to it, if they’re used to that type of treatment, I feel like they won’t see anything wrong with it. But if they’re not, and like, you know, you see, you stand like on your ground and tell them that it’s wrong, or like, you don’t like how they’re the males talking to them, then you could switch things up, but if they’re used to that treatment, and they think, like, in their eyes that it’s okay to do, then they’ll just keep living like that.
AB: Do you feel like it’s a healthy way of living?
JN: Um. I mean, I feel like there’s a certain limit to it. I don’t think that, like, like I said, like commands and like tell the female to do this do that, just because you provide or you feel like you’re the man of the house, you know? I don’t think that’s okay.
AB: Yes, I get what you mean. OK, so how does misogyny like gender roles and all this could lead to like a more serious issue and like no longer being like, oh, just a toxic way of thinking. When can it lead to, like a bigger problem where it has led to in many cases, abuse or like domestic violence.
JN: So, like, say, for example, um, if, like, your husband comes home for work and, um maybe he has like he has a bad day at work and he starts to, you know, taking it out on the wife, you know, then it starts to, like, it starts to get into, like, an argument and then you know, maybe he’s known for being aggressive and he can, I don’t know, perhaps, hurt or like, because she’s not listening or she’s not uh …. doing what she’s being told, then, you know, that could turn into abuse. um, he can get aggressive, and like over time, like, that can become a thing that, like, sadly, she’s gonna become used to, because she can’t, like… maybe she grew up or, like that was what came from her culture, she thinks that it’s okay for, like the guy to tell her things to do. And because of that, if, like, her husband lets say where to hit her, she’d think that’s okay. Like, it’s just a way for him to express himself when it’s not, and, like, I feel like Mad, how how misogyny can lead to that. And I don’t know, I feel like it’s a issue that concerns a lot of people.
AB: That was very well said. Ok, how do you think misogyny was brought up into the culture? Like, how did you how do you think that became such a big part of your culture today? Um, I feel like in my culture, it’s very, um I feel like it’s usual for the wife. Like, there is, um, how do you say?
JN: um there’s, like certain roles you have to fulfill. So, like, um, like you said, the woman, she cooks and cleans, she stays at home with the kids and stuff. and the male is known or the male the husband is known to, like, work and provide um, you know, he makes some money and because he makes some money if he’s where to say something, the wife has to listen or like, you know, he’s the one with that the how do you say? He’s the one that he’s the one that brings in the money, so, like, he’s gonna come home tired. and you have to give him or, like, do what he says, because he’s the one working, he’s the one doing all of this and to him, you’re just home doing nothing. You know, you’re home, what are you gonna do at home? You’re probably resting. So, like, I feel like roles like that, in my culture because it’s so well known, like, it’s so known for the woman to be the one at home with the kids. Like, that’s where it’s all like all brought up. Seen it’s been like going on for years and years it’s something that people haven’t let go of. Like, they haven’t stop thinking that way because it’s the way um they grow up.
AB: Besides marriage and like wife and husband relationship, do you feel like it affects like normal family lives, like maybe sibling relationships or-
JN: Okay, so for that, I would say that like I said, like it’s all like depending on the family, so if the siblings see that that’s like a pattern where, like, you know, the dad is the one bossing around, and then the wife is, like, just listening to whatever she’s told and does whatever she’s told, and I feel like you could really see that, like, within the siblings too, like, um, maybe even the the little brother, like the brother goes gets home from school and he can just be on, like, playing his video games. And if the the sister were to do that, she gets told that, like, she should leave that for for her brother and to start cleaning or start helping the mom out in the kitchen. and another example would be like, um maybe the brother, if he sees that, like, and it’s prevalent in the family, he tells the sister to go get him something or like, um, go get me this, go get me that, and it’s like commands just like the father. Um, it can also, like say, for example, they’re in their like, I don’t know, teenage years, and the brother is allowed to come home late because he’s a guy. and in contrast to the sister, um, she can’t stay out past eight, because she’s a girl, and she’s expected to be home at a certain time, you know, like I feel like there’s different um different like the treatment, and yeah, different treatment and expectations between, like, genders. So like I said, like, the guy, it’s okay if he does this because he’s a guy, and the sister, the girl, she can’t do that because she’s she’s a girl and she’s expected to be in the kitchen, be cleaning, and I feel like within the time they were told. It’s like, history and like the stories is gonna repeat. And the girl will soon be in the mom’s shoes where, like, sadly, she’ll be told to do, and she’ll be okay with that because she grew up like that.
AB: Do do you feel like you’ve seen that a lot, like, like the brother being treated better than the sister or vice versa?
JN: Yes, I’ve seen it. I’ve seen it happen, and like, um I feel like it’s kind of like the same with me. Uh-huh, like, I understand the difference between, like, my brothers and me. But I don’t know, maybe because I’m, like, the youngest, they’re more lenient, but you could tell, like, you know, because they’re guys, um like they’re a little like a little more how do you say? A little more flexible, I guess… And then with me, it’s more like, oh, if I’m going out somewhere, like, and because I guess, yeah, because since I’m the youngest, like, they wanna know I’m where I am, who I am with. And then, like, with my brothers, it’s different. it’s like, oh, like, they let them know, oh, I’m gonna go here. and and, like, that’s it, like, that’s okay with them. And then for me, I’m the youngest, and I’m a female, I guess they, you know, they expect me to, like, be home at a certain time, to let them know with who I am and where I’m gonna be. to it’s a little more like, um a little more question on me than to my brothers, so I guess you could say that I do see it.
AB: How do you feel like men, this could be like, in your family or anything, are affected by misogyny? Do they feel like they have to be the man or, like, where they can’t cry and this and that? Because of how, most cultures are with men?
JN: Yeah, I feel like I feel like that’s a like I guess you would say like a stereotype we’ve created. And because of that I feel like guys don’t like to cry or, like they don’t wanna cry or they don’t wanna, like, be all up in their emotions because there was a stereotype that, like, oh, that guys can’t cry because if they cry, they’re too weak or like, um just like having a soft heart just makes them weak. That’s like, the idea of, I feel like just like being a man, it just has stereotype. So, like, you can’t cry, you know? Because that just makes you weak. So, I feel like not within my family, but I’ve seen it. We’re like, oh, they wanna act tough. or like they start acting cocky because it’s like, you know, what guys do. Or like they start um how do you say it? like, they start like complimenting themselves to feel good.
AB: Yes, Ive seen that as-well. So, um do you think there’s any solution for this, like for the issue to go away in your culture or in general?
JN: So, I feel like a possible solution would be like I don’t know, being like maybe more involved, like, within each other, like, within the family. I feel like it should be like a thing where it’s, like everyone is like, a piece of a puzzle, and together it is just like, something that like unites. So, like instead of one person doing you know, like I said, one thing, instead everybody helps out. and, like, same with the like, just, like, helping each other out, not everybody has to do everything. Um, not one person has to do everything. Um, I would say, um, maybe like communication, because I feel like communication, that, like, it’s just like brings things down because if there’s no communication, then there’s also like the family within the family, like, you know, like everyone’s just so distant if no communication. So I feel like we’re there to be a solution, like, it has to be close within each other, help each other out, you know. be more present in each other’s lives, so that, like, everyone’s, like, one big puzzle.
AB: Very well said we should all be communicating with each other to make a change. Do you have any more questions or anything else to say, or add on?
JN: Um. I think that’s about it.
AB: Well thank you so much for your time and for answering all my questions.
JN: Of course my pleasure!
